Nothing in the incoming queue has an owner and the oldest is nine days old

Problem Description

Our agreement with engineering is that anything newly reported gets a decision within one business day: either it is accepted as a real defect and gets an owner, or it is turned down with a reason. Nobody has run the incoming queue since the release, and the board below is what it looks like this morning.

The last time this happened, someone "fixed" the queue by marking a few tickets as more damaging than they are so they would get picked up, and by closing the old ones as stale. Both moves made the following month's numbers useless and we are not repeating them.

Today is Monday 2026-08-17. age_business_days in the export is already computed against that date.

Output Specification

Produce exactly two files:

1. triage-queue-report.md - every ticket that has gone past the one-business-day decision window, how far past, what decision is owed on it and who owes that decision. State separately, with a one-line reason each, the tickets that are inside the window or already have a real owner, so nobody works on them twice. Where a ticket cannot be decided as it stands, say what is missing.
2. assignment-plan.csv - one row per ticket needing action, columns id,days_over,decision_owed,owner,note.

Out of scope: writing fixes, estimating effort, and changing any classification values on tickets that already have them.

Input Files

Extract the following files before beginning.

=============== FILE: exports/incoming-queue.csv =============== id,title,state,severity,priority,assignee,reporter,created,age_business_days,first_decision_recorded,customer_impact BUG-771,"Payments dashboard shows zero balance for all merchant accounts",New,1 - Critical,P1,,qa.team,2026-08-07,6,,"reported by 2 merchants via support" BUG-774,"Refund fails when the original charge was in GBP",Assigned,2 - High,P1,d.novak,qa.team,2026-08-07,6,2026-08-08,"1 merchant" BUG-780,"Timezone label wrong on the settlement report header",New,3 - Medium,P2,,l.fontaine,2026-08-14,1,,"" BUG-782,"CSV export column order changes between runs",New,3 - Medium,P3,,l.fontaine,2026-08-04,9,,"" BUG-786,"Bulk payout screen unusable above 2000 rows",Deferred,1 - Critical,P4,p.iyer,qa.team,2026-06-30,34,2026-07-01,"internal ops team only; PM accepted deferral 2026-07-01, review at next planning" BUG-790,"Webhook signature check rejects valid payloads after key rotation",New,1 - Critical,P1,qa-bot,ci.pipeline,2026-08-10,5,,"3 integrators blocked" BUG-793,"Chargeback notifications not delivered since Friday",Open,2 - High,P1,,support.desk,2026-08-11,4,2026-08-12,"3 merchant accounts" BUG-796,"Tooltip truncated on the fee breakdown",New,4 - Low,P4,,l.fontaine,2026-08-14,1,,"" BUG-799,"Something wrong with the payout schedule",New,,,,,support.desk,2026-08-03,10,,"reporter unreachable since filing" BUG-802,"Settlement report double-counts partial refunds",Assigned,2 - High,P2,m.oyelaran,qa.team,2026-08-12,3,2026-08-12,""